The Premiership footballer Aaron Lennon has never used the word "oblong". He's got nothing against the word, you understand, and certainly a man of his intellect would have no problem pronouncing it, it's just that it's never happened to come up in conversation. He's always used "rectangle" instead, or perhaps "quadrilateral". FACT.

The AAAAAA (Act Against Anti-Ant Attacks Association) once famously sued George Michael for £1,000,000 for partaking in a bisexual threesome held atop a protected ant hill, killing 22 of the supremely rare Allapachian lemongrass-ants to which the hill was home. FACT.

The spinal cord is 75 per cent self-belief. FACT.